Hi I’m Sylvia and I’m a Bachelor/Ette/In Paradise Addict.
I am the League Commissioner of a Bachelor Pool and have dedicated more hours than I’d like to admit watching and discussing at great length the various intricacies of this franchise.
Each and every season we see people fall in love and more often than not fall out of love and find their way through in the weird world that is Bachelor Nation.
This season we had the incredibly bright and beautiful Rachel Lindsay as our Bachelorette. From the get go things were different. We didn’t have any idea who her Men would be (making Pool drafting a horrifically bad experience for me) and we saw Rachel play by her own rules. This season WILL be different I told myself and my Poolmates.
But alas, here we are. The season has come and gone and the internet is mad. So very, very mad.
Let me say one thing first. I wish Rachel and Bryan all the happiness in the world. I truly do. These shows are SERIOUSLY edited so it’s hard to say exactly what happened behind closed doors. BUT I want to comment on what I did see, which made me want to jump through my TV and shake her.
It started with Bryan meeting Rachel’s family. She got wildly defensive when her family didn’t LOVE Bryan. She had this emotional reaction that her family called her out on but she denied having. That was a sign that she was super into him, but also a sign that she wasn’t in touch with her obvious reaction and defense strategy.
Then there was Peter. Poor, poor Peter. Regardless of whether or not Peter was the one for her what happened with Peter was what set me off.
This show films for 9 weeks and at the end the remaining couple can determine where to go next with their relationship. Most end in a proposal and most of those proposals end in disaster. See Andi Dorfman vs. Josh Murray. Then Amanda Stanton vs. Josh Murray and so on and so forth.
Rachel demanded a proposal from this journey. Rachel is surrounded by friends and family who are married and getting married AND she’s the star of this reality TV show where the expectations of an engagement are high. I get that Rachel wanted a ring. Everything around her pointed to the lack of ring equating to failure.
Confession time! I was once that girl. In the early years of dating The Husband I was surrounded by girls who desperately wanted to get married and they got their proposals. The Husband wanted to wait until we were truly ready. At the time this made me so sad. Why didn’t he want to marry me RIGHT NOW? Aren’t I a catch? Aren’t we building a life together anyway?
Fast forward a couple of years I had seriously cooled down and we were still together. In that time we had overcome some massive obstacles that life had thrown our way. We got through that time TOGETHER. Was I far more prepared to marry this man after that? Hell yeah. Did the time before our engagement make him any less committed to me? Absolutely not. I realize I am just one person but after 5 years of dating and another 5 of marriage I still firmly believe the proposal was worth the wait.
Peter was 10000000% ready to commit to Rachel and continue their relationship. He was rattled to the very core that he would lose what he wanted to be his ONE opportunity to propose. In the same way Rachel got her back up when her family didn’t obsess over Bryan, Rachel went from rational to hyper-emotional and didn’t hear what he actually had to say. This resulted in some of the most infuriating TV I’ve ever seen. How could you possibly find his gesture anything but ultra committed and incredibly romantic?! You’re the only one he wants to propose to because a proposal is like marriage to him. He even gushed over the importance of marriage to him NOT the crazy expensive watches you share.
So poor Peter not only had to sit through this horrific breakup on national television because his good intentions weren’t backed by Neil Lane’s diamond of approval, but he was brought on After The Final Rose (or was it really Before The Final Rose?) and had to re-hash it all over again. I FOR SURE thought we were getting punk’d and she’d tell us they didn’t actually break up and now they are so happy and are going to see what the future has in store for them.
Rachel and Bryan’s engagement was a sure thing. Is it a long-lasting thing? Only time will tell.
But dear, sweet, wonderful Peter. PLEASE don’t become the next Bachelor. Your heart can’t handle that process and I think one single solitary person deserves what you have to offer. I also hope you are ridiculously proud of standing your ground and not losing the chance to get engaged when you knew it was right for you. Life can’t guarantee that you’ll only ever have one engagement, but damnit if you’re unsure the first time, it’s best to stick with your gut.
