Full disclosure – I almost-never watch the Bachelorette. I recall seeing a few episodes when it was Trista, but in general, it’s just not my kind of show (if there’s no singing or dancing, laughter-inducing moments, mystical creatures, or crime-solving then I’m probably not on board). The other night, at roughly 9:02, I was flipping through and saw the opening credits rolling, so I thought ‘Hey, why the heck not? There’s nothing else on anyway.’ Well, that was a bad call. For the next 2 hours I watched, and with every commercial break I became increasingly more confused and agitated. My main question is just… What?!? So, if you can enlighten me on this whole Bachelorette phenomenon, please get in on the conversation. Here’s what I’d like to know…
1) What made this girl the bachelorette in the first place? Aren’t they supposed to be kind of fun and wild and a little bit crazy? I’m sure Ashley is a nice girl, but she is to personalities what taupe is to wall colours. Neutral, inoffensive, kind of blah, good for resale. All in all, I’m underwhelmed.
2) What happened to her to make her keep going on about how insecure she is? That needs to stop. Reinforcing how insecure you are at every on-camera opportunity makes you look quite sad – and not in an endearing sad-puppy way, but in a ‘jesus lady, grow a pair!’ type of way. Everyone has their insecurities, but there’s no need to shout it from the rooftops.
3) What is the deal with Bentley? I’ve seen enough Entertainment Tonight and read enough Us Weekly to know that this guy said or did something quite mean to Ashley. He left the house and said he didn’t find her at all attractive, and would rather swim through an ocean of pee than be with her. Something to that effect, right? So WHY did I just see him on this episode? So he could come back and tell her again that he doesn’t like her? So just to get this straight – the moral here is: if you act like a Grade-A a-hole on television, you will earn yourself a free trip to Hong Kong so you can reinforce how much of a prick you are. Again… what!?
4) What does a guy have to do to get a rose around here? There seem to be some guys in the mix that Ashley has never been on a ‘solo-date’ with, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t actually know all of their names, yet they are still in the running. Is Ashley handing out ‘I think we could be friends’ roses? She clearly has some favorites already picked out. (I’d put my money on JP for the win.) But keep in mind I have seen none of the other episodes.
5) Finally – What are the odds Bentley is going to be the next bachelor? I’m going to say… quite good. Objectively, he is good looking, and has a pretty great head of hair. He’s clearly a massive slimeball, but doesn’t that make for the best kind of TV? I love a good reality TV villain – so why not make the villain the star of the show? I’m pretty sure if this guy isn’t the next Bachelor, he will be getting his own TV show of some description. Bentley’s BadBoy Bootcamp? Bentley’s Badmouthing Bonanza? Bentley’s Babymomma Battles? Those I might watch.