Bee’s Knees: Royal Wedding

28 Apr

I remember my second royal wedding very well. My aunt, uncle, and cousins were visiting from Ontario, and we girls got up at the crack of dawn to watch Fergie (not Fergie Ferg London Bridge Oh Snap – the ORIGINAL) marry Prince Andrew at Westminster Abbey. We had a huge breakfast and my cousin Gillian and I watched with our Care Bears. We also had a rainbow drawing contest (I lost). Even as a little girl I was impressed by the pomp and circumstance of this wedding, very different than the one wedding I had attended.

My first royal wedding was Charles and Diana’s when I was just a couple of months old. Being a baby, I was screaming a lot at the time, so my mother got up with me and we watched the wedding together. I’m sure it was really enjoyable for her what with an infant screaming bloody murder the entire time.

So, I’ve officially been watching royal weddings for three decades now and the excitement hasn’t worn off one bit. Tomorrow I’ll be crawling out of bed (on my DAY OFF! and BIRTHDAY!) bright and early to see Prince William and Kate Middleton’s nuptials. I can’t wait to see the dresses, the decor, the processional. I love weddings, just as long as I’m not involved. And this is the humdinger of all weddings.

What makes a royal wedding so appealing? First of all, it’s every little girl’s dream to be a princess. There’s the fashion – the wedding party’s outfits, the crazy hats and fascinators. I think part of it is also how different it is from a “regular” wedding. We probably attend a dozen weddings in our lifetime but this one will completely outshine even the nicest celebration any bride-to-be could cook up. Seriously, who has their faces emblazoned on a line of china?

Or press-on nails?

Or condoms?

That’s what I thought.

Boys, even if you aren’t into the royal wedding (I don’t know what’s wrong with you), you will earn some serious points with your lady if you at least support her through her wedding-watching tomorrow morning. It is a marathon TV program after all. Bring her coffee. Make her breakfast. Practice your best British accent. Tell her that her hair is nicer than Kate’s, even though it’s a complete and utter lie. Do NOT linger in the TV room and say how stupid it is to be excited over the wedding. Do not make fun of William and Harry. You’re reinforcing the painfully clear fact that she didn’t marry a prince. You’re making it worse. Humour her. After all, haven’t you been watching hockey for the past however many weeks EVERY NIGHT?

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4 Responses to “Bee’s Knees: Royal Wedding”

  1. Joel April 28, 2011 at 6:21 pm #

    “You’re reinforcing the painfully clear fact that she didn’t marry a prince. You’re making it worse. Humour her.”

    So when she whines about not wanting to watch another episode of Veronica Mars it just reminds me that I didn’t get to marry Kristen Bell?

    And no, I haven’t watched any hockey.

  2. This Needs to Stop April 28, 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    You’re just pissy because you’re not a prince.

    • Joel April 28, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

      You’re just pissy because you’re not a princess?

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