TNTS: Clothes Shopping for Men

3 Mar

By Joel

So I started a new job recently, and it’s at an office where people dress like, well, grownups. My last job was just about the least formal place I’ve ever worked (clothes-wise, at least) so I didn’t really have a need to buy new, nicer stuff.

But after almost two weeks at this job, and alternating between my two nice things just about every day, I’m now wearing a hoodie with profanity on it, and sneakers, looking like the sad kid who wandered into the wrong party.

So it looks like I need to go clothes shopping. But here’s the problem: I’m not a thin person, and I’m a guy. 

Let’s tackle these problems one at a time: You know when you see a nice pair of sneakers at the store and then you ask if they have a size 12 or 13 and you see the large shoe and it looks straight-up ridiculous? No? Well, trust me. Clothes and shoes look better the smaller they are. It’s just true. These things don’t scale well. And, of course, when you’re a fatter person like me, you’ve got curves to contend with that aren’t helping anyone. So your go-to business casual clothes (dress shirts, sweaters, etc.) look like someone stuffed a beanbag chair into a pillowcase.

And then there’s the fact that your typical mid-range clothing retailer stuffs the men’s section at the very back (clothes stores are designed for women, and they put the men’s section wherever there’s some leftover space), and the selection usually sucks. So you find the one XL shirt in the pile, try it on, hate yourself a little for letting your life get to this place, and then you put it back. Repeat.

So, as you can imagine, I’m not exactly looking forward to my weekend trip to the mall. And not just because I hate malls (too many awful smells, too many awful people).

So I guess I’m just going to keep buying more blazers and purple shirts (seriously, I own, like, 5 of the exact same shirt) and contemplating the decisions that led me here.

Readers: Any suggestions for clothes that look okay-ish on large dudes? Leave it in the comments.

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8 Responses to “TNTS: Clothes Shopping for Men”

  1. Jenn March 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Just be like my guy: work at a stage/convention centre where it’s expected of you to wear black crew t-shirts. Bonus: you get a new wardrobe every time there’s a concert.

    I would kill if he would wear something more than a faded black Neil Young tee riddled with holes. Of course, then he’d have to wear a suit for his own funeral, so…. Win.

  2. Marc March 3, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    Dear Joel,

    It’s not what you wear that matters it’s all about how you wear it!

    Case in point: Mr. Elvis Presley of Memphis Tennessee, USA

    He wore a rock splitting, button popping, ‘I sure hope these seams are double stitched’ white sequined jumpsuits.

    Now, usually that look is frowned upon, but not for Elvis, he wore it like a man possessed by the devil and he made it work, in fact he even become famous despite his marginal talent levels. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Presley

    Now, I’m not saying you should start wearing white sequined ‘I think this is a kids size’ jumpsuit….but I’m not saying you shouldn’t either…

    Whatever you decide you have options…have you considered renting your work clothes?

    http://boutilierscostumerentals.com/

    (please note the use of their own URL at the bottom of the one page website that when you click on it takes you right back to where you were…)

  3. Sherry March 3, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Prepare yourself to shudder at this suggestion….

    Le Chateau’s outlet in Bayers Lake has a massive selection of men’s dress shirts. Note that I cannot vouch for whether their XL sizing is meant for twelve year olds.

    Maybe a last resort?

  4. Joufy March 3, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    You’re not alone. It’s almost impossible to find good clothes in this city that aren’t overpriced or cheaply made for women or men. Perhaps you need a shopping trip to Toronto or the US?

    My brother and Dad who are 6-foot-very-tall buy a lot of clothes online. Costco is actually pretty good for things like work pants and shirts and sweaters. Mark’s work warehouse has some swanky men’s stuff and I know they have the larger shoe sizes. Winners can be deceiving but if you’re willing to pick through a lot of weird stuff you can find some nice things. And they have larger shoes sizes above 13. It depends on the store but Joe Fresh usually has a lot of good work shirts and pants.

    Oddly enough the Google ads at the end of your post are all for Men’s clothing >_<

    Teehee to this ad: Forged Clothing
    Founded by two Navy SEALs, built on the values of Brotherhood & Freedom
    http://www.forgedclothing.com

    • This Needs to Stop March 3, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      Just amazing about the ads.

      I guess the problem with shopping trips (and Winners) is that by about 5 minutes into a clothes store I get angry and insist on leaving. Like a small child might.

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