Update: Well this is awkward. Frankie, I thought we had a deal. You were going to keep being awesome and we were going to talk about you a lot and try to keep you famous. And then you go and allegedly put a gun to your head and allegedly punch your girlfriend. In the head.
Dude, that’s not the Cody way. We didn’t want to do this, Frankie, but it looks like we’re going to have to take a break from our adoration. I mean, right now it’s your word against hers, and everything is “alleged” but it’s still not right for us to be spreading the gospel of Muniz while all this unpleasantness is going on.
So, get it together. Just think: WWCBD? Would Cody Banks do what you did? No, Cody Banks would get nervous around her because she’s a girl but then he’d gain some confidence and end up charming her through his awkward, boyish ways.
He wouldn’t punch her in the head, that’s for sure.
(Note: Frankie we already discussed a fail proof way for stars to get back in the limelight, sex tapes)
Original entry, posted Feb. 3rd, 2011:
Hollywood has a short memory. Whether this is fuelled by the public’s fickleness, or vice versa, we don’t know, but we do know that sometimes some of our greatest entertainers can be forgotten. A star that once brought us to tears in the made-for-TV movie To Dance with Olivia, a star that warmed our hearts in Dr. Dolittle 2. A star that at one time was considered “one of Hollywood’s most bankable teens”.
If I say the words, “We spend $10 million training this kid and we didn’t teach him how to talk to women?!” what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
What about: “Name’s Banks. Cody Banks.”
Are you with me yet? That’s right, Frankie Muniz, film actor, race car driver, and class act.
Do you remember him? What if I told you that he is actually as smart and cool as the characters he played? What if I told you that both Malcolm (of “in the Middle” fame) and Agent Cody Banks were based on Muniz himself? What if I told you that he wrote and directed almost every scene he was in?
Would you not be impressed?
Don’t let the fact that those things aren’t true stop you from repeating them as if they were. Frankie Muniz came into our hearts and made us laugh, made us cry, and sometimes, only sometimes, made us wonder if there was a god, and if so, would he or she be as cool as Frankie? I know who I’m praying to, tonight. If I get a new pony and a rich husband, you now know of one god out there who actually listens.
So, here’s how we can get Muniz back in the spotlight: When someone is driving really fast, make sure you say, “whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Frankie!”
When someone is being super cool, say, “nice going, Cody.”
And finally, when someone says something really smart, say, “way to be in the middle, Malcolm!”
Because he has made us laugh, cry, and ponder, and because he retired before the age of 20 and now spends his time behind the wheel of a racecar, Frankie is the Bee’s Knees.