Archive | January, 2011

This Needs to Stop: Sidewalk Hogs

31 Jan

This morning’s TNTs is brought to you by the lovely Leslie Flemming. Leslie will be answering all of our legal questions as this season of Gossip Girl takes us into the courtroom.

This Needs to Stop. Sidewalk Hogs

Has this ever happened to you? You’re walking down the sidewalk, minding your business and being a good pedestrian when suddenly you are forced off of the sidewalk and in to a snow bank or mud puddle by a herd of people. To the best of your knowledge you were not in possession of an invisibility cloak at the time, so they could definitely see you. As you drew closer they probably even dipped one of their shoulders and turned their upper body so slightly it was almost imperceptible. But ultimately they decided that they were entitled to monopolize the entire width of the sidewalk, and you should be exiled to the adjacent patches of unpaved real estate.

More often than not, when faced with an oncoming herd of people, the member of the group who is in your direct line of collision will fall back a few steps, let you pass, then rejoin the herd. This is what most of us do. This is normal sidewalk etiquette. Unfortunately, at some point in your ambling travels you will encounter a sidewalk hog. And they need to be stopped.

I’m not sure what it is that compels the sidewalk hogs to disregard the needs of fellow walkers. Perhaps they themselves were once unjustly forced off the sidewalk and this triggered a need for eternal pedestrian domination. Or maybe they’ve examined your footwear and have decided that it would be far easier for you to clean your leather boots than for them to clean their own Reebok pumps after being rerouted in to a mud puddle. But I would venture a guess that the real reason for their actions is that they’re just oblivious to the reality that other people might actually need to walk where they’re walking. They’re so engrossed in their own lives and the riveting conversation about who did what to whom on the dance floor or the Palace last night, that breaking stride with their comrades doesn’t even register as a potential course of action. This behavior needs to stop. So let me break this down for any habitual sidewalk hogs out there.

If you do it this way, that means you did it wrong. Turn around immediately and offer to shine that person’s shoes.

This is the undesirable order of operations.

This is the desirable order of operations: 1. Group sees oncoming pedestrian. Begins to slow down. Group member on the collision course falls back behind the rest of the group.

2. One person in the group falls back behind the rest of the group, letting the solo- pedestrian pass.

3. Solo-pedestrian passes, and the herd comes back together. That was easy, wasn’t it?

As my younger sister used to remind me when I was reluctant to let her play with my toys, “We SHARE in this family!” That’s a valuable lesson for everyone to learn, because in most places in the world the sidewalk is for sharing. So if you’re a sidewalk hog, or you know one, please take note: Commandeering the whole sidewalk for your personal runway at the expense of all other pedestrians is not ok. This needs to stop!

Gossip Girl Returns!!

29 Jan

Spotted. The cast of the blog formerly known as The Reacharound gathered on the couch once again. Looks like someone’s had a facelift…

Like most post-op people of their vintage, these girls couldn’t stay up long enough to actually watch their favourite show.

Check out this weeks episode to see the movie Joel can’t wait to see, and find out how you can win tickets to their annual Oscar Party. Everyone who’s anyone will be there.

Get your party hats on, cause it’s about to get crazy.

xoxo The Reacharound

Not flushing hard enough.

28 Jan

A wonderful reader of ours suggested we tackle this problem. And we were glad to.

Let’s face it: sometimes you need to do #2 at work. It happens and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s not like you’re sneaking off for a naughty #3 in the middle of the afternoon.

But here’s something you should be ashamed of: not making sure that all the evidence of your urgently-dropped deuce went out with the water.

Look, I know that some toilets are low-flow. I get that maybe you ate a bit too much. I understand that you didn’t mean to leave traces of your tactical turd-strike.

But I can’t be okay with you leaving little bits of poop in the toilet. Just floating there like that thick suspension of strange particles in miso soup.

Seriously, this needs to stop.

The Bees Knees: The Halifax Oval

27 Jan

Since the Oval opened to the public this winter it has been the talk of the town. Thousands of people have flocked to the outdoor rink to spend some quality time outside with their friends and family. So the gang at This Needs to Stop dropped by to check out what the fuss was about.

As a group of young professionals caught in that awkward time of your life where you don’t know if you should be doing Jagerbombs at The Dome or knitting socks for your unborn children, The Oval was a welcomed age neutral activity.

The atmosphere was fantastic. Everyone was having a great time (despite being out-skated by six year olds) and there were no bad apples trying to spoil the fun for everyone.

Most importantly all of this fun was being had in the heart of the city. Other parts of the country  have long since embraced the Canadian tradition of outdoor skating rinks in their downtown cores. The idea of sipping hot chocolate and laughing with your friends while being outside is just enough to get us through these long winter months.

So that being said, we think the Halifax Oval is The Bees Knees and we’d love to see it stick around.

Check out savetheoval.ca to learn more!

Introducing the Starbucks Trenta

27 Jan

Recently Starbucks launched it’s most grandiose beverage size yet. The Trenta. The Trenta comes in at a whopping 916ml which is just about enough to satisfy your coffee craving for life in one shot.

My initial reaction to this news was that it was just another marketing ploy to keep the Starbucks snobs happy. You who I mean. They stroll into their local Starbucks, bark out a six word Venti latte order, and walk out as if they’ve spent the day with a personal shopper at Chanel. ( FYI: Venti is not Italian for moneybags)

This large liquid monstrosity escaped my thoughts until I was sent an infographic that made me throw up in my mouth a little.

As you can see in the image below, the Starbucks Trenta holds more liquid than THE AVERAGE HUMAN STOMACH.

At a time where childhood obesity rates are higher then ever, I am disgusted that we are now going to show today’s kids that it’s ok to down a Trenta Orange Mocha Frappachino and sit on your butt while playing Farmville on Facebook until you’ve come out of your sugar / caffeine coma.

Despite the fact that I’m confident I could eat an entire party pizza on my own, I’m not waiting in line at Greco every day with an overinflated sense of entitlement to stuff my face full of pizza.

This needs to stop. We need to stop applauding companies for jumbo-sizing us to death. Starbucks needs to start promoting their Short sized bevy’s as a fun “mini” alternative. Everyone loves things that are mini. And newsflash. They’re better for you too. Everything in moderation as they say.

Is this the gym or the Dome?

26 Jan

How about I roll out of bed, throw on a humungous 2010 Bust a Move T-shirt, fire my hair into a ponytail, and go to the gym, and I’m surrounded by members of The Pussycat Dolls in full-on matching outfits and war paint? Ladies, this is the gym. This isn’t Vegas or the Dome. It’s not even Le Chateau. You’re here to work out. Sweat. Look disgusting.

If you’re straightening your hair before you go to the gym, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re applying liquid eyeliner and contouring blush before you go to the gym, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re not cringing at your appearance in front of the locker room mirror, even just a little, you’re doing it wrong.

You can’t get results if you’re rocking a Bump-It and smelling like a cloud of Britney’s newest Wal-Mart feature fragrance. The gym is a place to work out. It’s not a mating ground unless you’re really into Jersey Shore extras and geriatric men wearing white kneesocks. You aren’t going to be discovered by a casting agent or a modeling scout. Especially in Lower Sackville. You might get spotted by your Boston Pizza waitress from a couple weeks ago. That’s as high-profile as it’s going to get.

If you’re spending more than 10 minutes getting ready to go to the gym – you need to stop.

The Bees Knees: Celebrity Sex Tapes

25 Jan

Let’s just take a moment and try to imagine what life might be like if celebrities didn’t make sex tapes. The career’s of celebs like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were launched due to their talents with videocamera and some bad lighting. Pam and Tommy Lee were caught on camera and used this to sell records, who doesn’t remember that catchy little number “Get Naked” by Methods of Mayhem. And if a sex tape is good enough for former Senator and Presidential candiate John Edwards, then who are we to ask questions? I mean sure we all wonder why celebrities keep taping their sexual encounters and act surprised when they make their way to the internet. But isn’t that just it, they are only “acting” surprised, do you think former child star Dustin Diamond wasn’t thrilled to be back in the spotlight when his 2006 sex tape was released? Disgraced figure skating star Tonya Harding wasn’t satisfied with internet only success when handling the release of her tape and decided to sell it to Penthouse.

The list goes on and on, it seems that celebrity sex tapes are the new headshot. Looking for work in Hollywood, make a sex tape. Career isn’t going as well as you had hoped, make a sex tape. Because celebrity sex tapes make or revive the careers of so many, and bring joy to our lives – they are this week’s Bees Knees.

Now enjoy some Methods of Mayhem